Having filled your Kelly Kettle (see Things we Like) with water, the next step is ignition. Newspapers ain’t what they used to be. Even the broadsheets seem to just blacken and smoulder like a pile of wet leaves.
Fire lighters might be an option, but are morally unacceptable and they stink. Kerosene tainted cheese paste is not going to encourage a wary chub from beneath that raft.
The answer is to reach for a penknife and a piece of wood and get whittling. Try and find a piece of soft scrap – a bit of broken pallet is ideal – and watch out for splinters. They take a flame readily and the process is rather therapeutic too.