Allan’s Fangler December 2016

No Surprises After a year of sometimes eye-opening decisions, The British Record Fish Committee (BRFC) delivered a dose of common sense at the beginning of the month by rejecting the latest carp claim. The fish, known as ‘Big-Rig’, had already created more friction in the carp world than a Supreme Court Judge at a UKIP Rally, having been ‘reared’ to a record size before being stocked. It was the fact that the fish was ‘cultivated’ that saw the rejection of the claim, though Fishery Manager and Big-Rig fattener, Rob Hales, was unsurprised. “It’s very predictable and I’m not at all surprised,” […]

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Parr’s Diary – December 2016

Festive television is invariably underwhelming. Full of re-makes, repeats and Christmas ‘specials’ that make you smile, but only because the excess of port and stilton has left you mildly stupefied. I did watch Charlie Brooker’s 2016 Wipe last evening though, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Mind you, the past twelve months have delivered plenty of material for him—and no matter where your opinions fall, it is always a relief to laugh at the absurdity of it all. It was a reminder of a turbulent year however, and no matter how sharp you like your satire, there have been some truly solemn […]

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Parr’s Diary – November 2016

I went for a walk yesterday afternoon on my local patch. It was only a few degrees above freezing, but I had in mind that the sunshine might have tempted an adder out. I may have been proved right, but left it half an hour too late. The south facing bank where I had hoped to find a snake was still catching a few rays, but the warmth of the sun had become diluted by the cold of the air. 4 degrees (Celsius) is my personal best ‘Cold Air Adder’, but I have a friend in Scotland who took photos of […]

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Friday’s Allan’s Fangler (FAF—but on a Monday this time): November 2016

Ink-redible! There aren’t many benefits to a Cold War. There are fewer explosions than an actual war, and less food rationing – but that is about it. Apart, of course, from the absurd stories of technological wizardry and cunning that are so unbelievable they just might be true. We are a little way away from the days of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, but that hasn’t prevented one or two spectacular stories from emerging in the more paranoid echelons of our popular press. Organism 46-B is a shape-shifting, man-eating 14-legged giant squid (or octopus depending if you read the text or look […]

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A pike is not just for Christmas, it’s for life

5am. It’s dark. Sort of. There’s a full moon that lights up the garden like a five-a-side pitch. I can see my cat racing along the grass to tackle a trespassing fur ball. I like these early starts, when it feels like the whole world is asleep, but of course it’s not. A couple of train journeys later and I’m in the throng of Paddington station, London. This world is certainly awake. Streams of people exit the platforms like ants, pushing down the escalators and underground. So many different types of people, all shapes and sizes, all colours and creeds, a […]

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Kingfisher House, 21-23 Elmfield Road, Bromley, BR1 1LT, United Kingdom